Chris @merlions@anarchism.space

I just really fuckin wish we werent in such a bad place with being overworked and having no money since they deserve so much better care than we are capable of giving them, no matter that we spend every free second with them and love them so so much. I just want them to have good lives where their chronic illnesses can be respected as okay and part of who they are and cared for adequately

its gonna be an enormous effort trying to help their swimmers syndrome since we originally were gonna surrender her since we dont have the financial or time stability to care for kittens period, much less severely disabled kittens, but it's not like we're just going to do nothing about it since swimmers syndrome is curable and knowing they have CH means we really have to vet and educate people interested in adopting them in how to care for cats with CH

So sorry, I should have tw'd the first one. Turns out they 100% have swimmers syndrome and I suspect cerebellar hypoplasia. I am not sure about the cause but I'll check the moms vax records and see if it's possible she has the fatal disease that usually causes it in kittens since we have 2 other cats and it's incredibly contagious and theres no cure. Heres hoping shes free of that and that it was just caused by malnutrition while she was stray

does anyone have 1st hand knowledge abt the behaviors & development of kittens around 2 - 3 weeks old I'm kinda flippin out bc I know 2 of my kittens have swimmers syndrome but I'm not sure if something else is wrong esp w the way they wobble and roll around? Maybe we shld just take them to the vet but very much no money to do so (we rescued her and were scheduled to surrender the day after she gave birth, not financially stable enough for kittens) and also it's bad for them to travel this young

https://www.instagram.com/p/BuQn3aDHIqw/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=dusjusgu5m06

I think that despite hellacious nightmares I am learning to be okay. The epiphany i have had a few times but every time things get worse and i have to be vulnerable again I have to have: I will survive this. I feel stronger again. My instinct is to cut the branch that is making me vulnerable but it is making me stronger to keep it. The cost may be my ability to feel but the benefit is a good life. To be fair it sucks but yknow. Life lol

Also a terrible thought but I wish that her primary owner (we co own her but they're prim as I am w our other cat) wasnt just so. so mean to me when sad and stressed out about her or just literally any other stressor in life. Like I get its rough but please refrain from like "yeah but you're wrong" things like I'm also crying and in so much pain from this? Please? What??

shes just so little and so loving and I cant even describe how much she deserves kindness and comfort and joy. I literally have never known a cat like her and I've owned 10, been around hundreds

please keep our sweet tiger (gorp) in yr thoughts for a slightly longer life and just. comfort and lack of pain in her final days. god knows that's all we have ever wanted for her is just peace and for the pain to end

*fully

Best friend of 3 years and roommate bc of incompatibility rooming together...but things are good lol. Holding it together in some ways. Terrified money wise also w rent coming up but have a job if I'm willing to compromise my identity in ways that make me feel awful. Anyways all of that is why I havent been on lately but I maybe will be soon as things settle down. Sorry for the tirade. Love you all. [5/5

We are treating her now and on Wednesday we will find out whether the treatment will work (2mo of life maybe max) or if it wont (poss euthanasia or a few days between 50% chance of either dying peacefully in sleep or a horrible traumatic death, no real way to know til it happens) and that's the big thing right now. Also my primary partner (who's her primary owner) are going thru intense stuff and housing is a nightmare, mayb gon break up w my [4/5 sry]

Since we have been to more than 6 vets over 4 states within a year and there have been rare times when anyone has ever helped her. Turns out shes almost 17 and her hyperthyroidism has caused heart troubles which have presented for a long time and no one took it seriously even as asthma, which is the only other thing it could have been...until she almost stopped breathing and they took x-rays to find half her entire lung cavity was filled with fluid. [3/4]

Better than sterile water) to charging us hundreds of dollars to put her under and clean out dried pus.....never actually fixing anything and with no accountability. Much more than $1000 in now her ears are still absolutely awful, more itchy and painful than can be described from what we can observe. But now she has silly confirmed congestive heart failure. She could live for days or maybe months, we arent sure. And its hard to say anything for sure [2/?]

I havent been on here lately and I'm sorry. Theres a ton going on lately - we found one of our cats, tiger, on the street last january. From the first vet who thought she was 6 and mostly healthy though starving, we have since learned she has hyperthyroidism and dual bact/fungal ear infections we have tried to treat consistently and no vet has ever been helpful. From denying her ears were unhealthy to giving us non antibiotic ear flush (not much [1/?]

deal with the horrific realities I'm facing that I've been putting off for months and months? Nah just cry abt them for a lil bit and then watch 200 hours of lord of the rings, who needs sleep ???

It's not even cold rn it's not gonna go under 50 deg F til tmo morning why are my joints still so fuck >:(