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LIVE like you've never been hurt
LOVE like you've never been hurt
LAUGH because nobody can hurt your
DRIVE a bulldozer into your mayor's living room

Learn to use a gun!
Also, I love my boyfriend very much!
Mostly though learn to use a gun!

echo boosted

i cant wait to start investing in real estate and renting properties just kidding it was a joke haha if you like this funny joke you can find more just like it at my website facebook dot com

would have been fucking hilarious if kaepernick signed to sketchers tho

On a scale from "GSA Gay" to "Bash Back Queer" I'm sitting right about "a portrait of Bernadette Peters engraved on my first rifle"

TV show idea: Jack O'Neill and Dana Scully team up to just constantly doubt shit they've seen happen dozens of times before

Yo did you know phones have photoshop too I downloaded the app for it look

"would totally still go see halo movies if Peter Jackson directed it tho" - karl marx, Kapital vol 3, 1997

I wanna get in on these post malone puns but I'm horrible at that kinda things. I'm just gonna coast alone.

LIVE like you've never been hurt
LOVE like you've never been hurt
LAUGH because nobody can hurt your
DRIVE a bulldozer into your mayor's living room

The dev team, upon Mastodon going live:

Finally! Social Media our moms will NEVER be able to navigate!

u say u support the troops but u havent sucked all they dicks??????????????? smh

For real though with all this momentum I really think we could get Jodie Foster to do a Taxi Driver 2 and just see where this whole politics thing goes

echo boosted

I can't believe the next instance split is gonna be about whether Jon Arbuckle fucks because let me tell you

This bastard drank his dog's cold load, this guy doesn't just fuck he ANNIHILATES

He is a fucking BEAST

I mean

He's here now

In the room with you

RUN

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