Racism is part of many many countries, it's in the fiber of their being even if you don't want to see it.

If you're willing to learn, look at your country's own history, identify problematic language etc, you can slowly become better. No one is expecting you to change over night, and it's okay to Fuck up.

Find a friend who you can practice with, call each other out on your bullshit. Be better.

And goddammit LISTEN.

It'd be an easy out to say "I'm not racist because", but the thing is, society has made you racist in certain ways of behaviour that are ingrained in you. You can't help it, but you can change how and who you are from here on out.

I have fucked up, we all fuck up, but owning that we fuck up and stepping back and taking a breather and identifying what and why helps.

So let me own this: I recently got a month ban from a community for using the N-word straight up. In the situation (a quote) I thought it was cool.

I learnt in the process that obviously it wasn't cool, and the 30 days that I was offered to reflect was put to good use, first few days all I wanted to do was defend myself, deflect, make up excuses. And that's okay, but you don't have to do that with the people you hurt. Do that with yourself And think.

Eventually my brain settled, and I figured out how and why I had done what I did, outside of the "I thought it was okay in this context". And now I know it is highly unlikely that it happens again, because I put in the work.

But, no one else can put in the work for you. You gotta do that, you gotta look and think, if someone tells you or hints at you being racist, you own that shit and you deal with it, and TAKE your time, because it fucking takes time.

I'm not in anyway free from behaving in racist bullshit ways, just because my boyfriend is Asian. And fuck he has to call me out on some stuff sometimes, and we work on it together. And hey, did you know that he can be racist too? So yeah.
Find one person, who can call you on your bulllshit, and who you can call out too. Let it be your safe space together to do that, to learn and grow.

It will hurt, but that's what growing does, it hurts.

A person can be acting racist, without being a racist. So because someone calls you out on you behaving racist, doesn't mean they are telling you that all you are is racist.

But language is funny that way, so if you choose to only focus on that they told you that you're something you're not, you fucking sit down and you look at what you did, and why and how that can be viewed as being racist.

And work on that shit, own it and apologize.