update on this: it's been a little over two weeks since i wrote all this... her and i are openly in love with each other and in a relationship.

we had a conversation about all these feelings and it was very reassuring. now i'm just trying to enjoy my time with her and let things happen as they will. who knows, maybe we'll move to mexico together one day.

thank u for the kind words @ygris @commiequeer @AatosWirtanen

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meant to write "won't be for a while," not "will be for a while." but the trip would be permanent.

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i also honestly don't want to live in this country anymore. but i don't really want to leave either. i can't believe i'm thinking about this again

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i hate this. i'm honestly so mad at myself. i don't want to be a messy bitch but i'm already emotionally attached and already feeling so distraught. i feel like i should break up with her and avoid the pain, but i really really don't want to. i hate this shit

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i've already gone through this kind of thing multiple times. falling for someone, establishing a relationship (one of them for four years) with someone who i know is going to leave , and then feeling completely, devastatingly brokenhearted once they leave. i don't think i've even realized until recently just how much that hurt

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i'm falling deeply madly in love with this girl but she's been floating the idea of leaving the country, leaving to europe (i am in the usa). she's not decided yet, and if she does go it will be for a while. but i just don't know. i worry getting involved with her is going to be a disaster for me emotionally once it ends.

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very worried im going to get my heart broken

waging a protracted people's war against my local transit agency because they won't mandate masks

to be perfectly frank i get extremely turned on knowing that each minute money is racking up in my bank account

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someone paid for a private show and i came pretty quick 😇 i love doing a private show

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i reached my camming goal really fast again :) i think i discovered a way to reach my goal much faster hehehehe

do i think people should be shooting back? look, i just wish i didn't live in the middle of a civil war. i just want to smoke weed and suck dick

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i feel like the only difference between the situation in the usa right now and a civil war is that one side of people isn't shooting back

lol damn, during my last cam session i reached double my goal in like under 5 minutes. so chill!

wow i have been rootin and tootin quitea bit lately havent i. mastodon is nice

i was so exhausted. camming so much. and i wasn't performing well so people werent tipping as a result. but things are getting better

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