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There's a reason I pay so much attention (and have so many deep feelings) about the difference between conflict and abuse.

I honestly believe that mistaking conflict for abuse is the thing that abuse needs to survive. The extreme of this is zero tolerance.

When you cannot bring up an issue without the maximum penalty immediately on the table, the stakes are too high to solve a conflict.

Which means we now shy away from talking about things. This is the silence abuse needs to fester.

@aredridel This dynamic has dismantled several of my relationships over the years.

@aredridel wise words. thank you for articulating that, I have had similar thoughts but struggled with the words.

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